excruciating

The process of dying is hard. There is no getting around it: choosing everyday to kill my selfish desires, self-seeking ambitions, and religious heart is an excruciating process…..excruciating. This word, excruciating is the exact word that should be said of our journey to self denial.

ex · cru · ci · at · ing

Excruciating literally means “from cross”. The first use of this word was thought to be used for the first time somewhere between 1560-1650. The exact date is not 100% known. But it is universally accepted by theologians that this word, excruciating, was made to reference the pain that Jesus endured on the cross. Some will argue that this is false because many people died by means of crucifixion before and after Jesus. I’ll give the skeptics that one….many people have died by means of a cross in history. Yet no stories recorded in history give an account of a man claiming to be a savior, beaten to near fatality, and forced to carry his cross that would kill him on a hill called Calvary. Not only that, but the same man who thousands have given account to hundreds of miracles witnessed by their own eyes. And finally a man who would appear to several people after his own death. Hmmm….I think this man deserves this word. I can confidently say that there has never been anyone who has experienced physical pain to what Jesus did. Not only the physical pain, but also being God, He carried the weight of the sin of the entire universe on his back. Yet He still endured…..willingly and with joy.

Excruciating is reserved for the one who endures the cross.

Still today we are to live in constant remembrance of what Jesus willingly endured on the cross.

Today as I read “A Call to Die”, by David Nasser, I was challenged to consider the “hard words” of Jesus Christ. Although it was hard to swallow, I loved when Nasser said:

”Jesus didn’t come to entertain us. Jesus’ ultimate goal in coming was to bring glory to the Father. Yes, in that lies the good news of our salvation through his death and resurrection, and the opportunity to be worshippers of him”

Soak that up. Does that make your heart race like it does mine? What joy is in that!! The death of Christ not only brings about the assurance of eternal life spent worshipping him later, it opens the amazing privilege to worship him NOW. Salvation was never meant to be used only after we die. Salvation means that today there is freedom by the blood of Christ to worship him with our lives. Our life is the very thing that is used to worship the eternal God. Is it any wonder, now that the mission of Christ is revealed to us, that the first way God ask us to worship (follow) him is through losing our lives…..denying ourselves.

Matthew 16:24-26

Then Jesus told his disciples, if anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?

Matthew 10:39

Mark 8:34-37

Luke 9:23-25

Luke 17:33

John 12:23-26

It’s interesting…all 4 gospels record this same call to worship that Jesus gave. They all say it a little different, but the purpose remains the same. If we are going to really worship Jesus with our lives we must first lose the life we know, join in the “excruciating” pain, and give all glory and honor to the only one that is worthy of it.

If you are like me it’s quite overwhelming to even begin to walk the harsh, demanding road each day to die. But we cannot truly begin to live the fullness of the grace of God each day unless we cease to exist. While meditating on this truth today, I heard the Holy Spirit say to me, “Am I worth it?” Of course I immediately said, “Yes Lord. You’re more than worth it.” But then as my answer sunk in to my heart, I remembered that every day I forget the worth of Christ. In this moment of complete humility I recalled one of the most amazing quotes I’ve ever heard anyone say in worship. I leave you tonight with the words spoken by worship leader and one of the strongest men of God I’ve ever known, Klaus Kuehn:

“If you’re still measuring out your offering to the Lord, you haven’t seen His worth.”